I’ve had several requests for help this past month, some really fun opportunities and others that were heart-breaking pleas for help.
One was extremely hard to say no to, due to the sadness of the situation, but I knew with everything in my heart that I needed to say “no”.
It was such a difficult thing to say no to, that afterwards, I crawled into the shower and sobbed.
It is excruciating to say “no” to people.
People with very real need, people with very tender hearts.
And that’s really hard, especially when you know that you could change the outcome of the story.
That with God’s help, you could move mountains.
And yet, I hear the Father’s heart saying, “No, not this time.”
Why would God say no to something that is very much in his power to give through another person?
Because there are some journeys that were meant to be taken alone with only him.
Those mountain roads that only He can navigate with you.
No person, no church, no gifting can ever replace that.
I think sometimes, that it can be a good thing when our churches and the people in our lives disappoint us.
But I can only imagine how hard it must be for God to delay things that are in his power to give.
He is still the God who heals.
He is still the God who is with us in our loneliness.
He is still the God who sees and knows and is all powerful.
But sometimes He doesn’t come through like we hoped.
And sometimes the Christians we know, and the churches we attend don’t come through the way we thought they would.
And this is hard to swallow, whether you believe in God or not.
Disappointment is never easy.
But disappointment can be an opportunity to make room in our lives for God to be God.
Not the idea of a grandiose God who hovers above us, punishing us for our sins.
But a God who loves us better than we know. Who loves like a Father and gives us his best, even if it might cause us to misunderstand him.
It’s about making room in our lives to tell God things that hurt us and that disappoint us.
And for those of us who have been through a season like this – it is one of learning to let go.
Learning to let God do what only he can do in the lives of those we love.
To step back, and not be the hero of the show.
To let him do what only he can do.
Remembering that he is faithful and able to be trusted.
Photo Credit: “Mountains” by Skeeze, Permission through C.C. by 2.0