Courageous Thinking

We live in a weird time in history.

Never has it been easier to build a following, construct a cause, and self-promote.

It’s actually quite amazing.

We can self-publish our own books, market our own events, and reach out to an unlimited crowd.

Our generation is perhaps one of the luckiest in terms of being handed the tools to pursue our dreams seemingly without limit.

But I can’t help but wonder sometimes, what is it all for?

Because you see, it’s really easy to get behind a cause or a well-known speaker that we support, or even become one ourselves.

A speaker, that is – not a cause.

 

Periodically, I think it’s healthy to ask ourselves, “Why do we do what we do?”

 

And that’s a really tricky thing to discern sometimes.

Because we want to believe the best about ourselves and others.

But the truth is, that we are all human.  And like every other human on the planet – we like the attention from doing things well.  We like the accolades, the atta-boys or atta-girls.  The recognition that we have succeeded in our area of influence.

Is it wrong?

No.

Everybody likes a pat on the back.  And we need those.  They encourage us to keep going.

But things get wonky when we veer of the road of clear thinking into one of two ditches.

The pattern of doing things because we feel obligated – which will lead us to burn out.

or

Doing things to get the approval of others (the praise of men) – which will lead us to compromising our values and failing to truly give to others from pure motives.

 

We are left wondering how to stay on the straight and narrow.

 

How about we start with a little bit of honesty.

 

Self-reflection is a discipline that isn’t easy.

 

It’s not comfortable to take a hard look at ourselves and gauge where we’ve let ourselves slip:

Are we helping the people around us out of genuine concern for their well-being or because we are afraid they won’t approve of us if we don’t?

Are we cleaning up the messes of others because if we don’t do it, nobody will?

Are we bitter with our family, friends, and co-workers for not meeting our needs, yet too afraid to speak up about what it is that we actually need?

Are we promoting ourselves on our social media sites because we sincerely want to help and encourage others or do we do it so that we can derive a sense of self-worth from the attention?

Are we frustrated with our lives because we haven’t embraced the feedback of others who love and care about us?

 

You’ll find that the best business coaches, counselors, and top performers in the world practice this type of self-reflection on a regular basis.  And the truly excellent ones, teach others to do the same.

Even God wants us to take time to evaluate ourselves.

Because if we can’t bring ourselves to admit that we need help and we need change, God as a loving father will help us. But let me tell you from personal experience, it so much less fun.

 

But if we evaluated and judged ourselves honestly [recognizing our shortcomings and correcting our behavior], we would not be judged.

1 Corinthians 11:31

Amplified Bible


So, why is it that we do what it is that we do?

 

 

 

If some of the scenarios above sound like you, know that you’re not alone.  New seasons of life always come with a learning curve. . . and with it, permission to rediscover our own hearts and desires.

 

 

 

I’d love to hear about your courageous thinking and the changes from it!  Feel free to share in the comments!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Eye of God

The Eye of God

I write for my sanity.

You thought I wrote just because I loved you.

I do.

I really do.

But writing also helps keep me sane.

You see, by writing I have a built in excuse to go to a coffee shop every week and write.

My husband is a business guy, I call him the Human Calculator, because, we’ll he is.  It is freaky how well he can calculate numbers and percentages in his head when it comes to money. And because he’s a bottom line kinda of guy, in his mind – paying for coffee every week is a business expense -which means I can get away with it.  (Take notes ladies, this is how it’s done.)

So that’s part one of my self induced therapy plan – self-medicate, ie, drink coffee.

But the other part is to write about how I feel and how I’m processing the world, because . . . lean in. . .  I’m a stuffer.

 

Yeah, you heard me.  I stuff my emotions.

Which is why blogging is a such a great outlet.

At the heart of blogging is connection.

It’s all about letting another person into your world, the way you think and what you feel.

Because of this, bloggers are awesome people.

 

But right now I hate blogging.

And I kind of hate being a blogger.

And I definitely don’t feel awesome.

 

Because it means that I’m one of those people who processes her world by writing about it.

 

 

I’m a stuffer who writes about the stuff I don’t really want to write about because I figure if I put my stuff out there, I won’t be as much of a stuffer anymore. – Say that 10 times fast.

Here’s what my stuffy side doesn’t want to say tonight.

 

God’s not done healing me.

 

I actually thought he was.

I thought I had finally moved past all of my childhood issues and was on the cusp of something big. . . like the promised land of adulthood.

But I don’t think he got my memo.

 

Actually it’s the opposite.

It’s like he saved one of the biggest bombshells for last.

 

And here it is: Because of growing up in a home with a schizophrenic mother and living in a constant state of childhood trauma – I have  ummm — cough — tendencies.

 

What?

 

I said, I have — cough — tendencies.

 

Alright, fine.

 

I HAVE CODEPENDENT TENDENCIES.

There, I said it.

 

Maybe not a shocker for you, but it is for me.

 

And now I’m going from a season where I thought I was finished with all of this inner healing stuff to my-dreams-are-feeling-a-bit-like-sand-slipping-through-my-fingers-all-because-I don’t-know-how-to-not-be-overly-responsible-and-just-trust-God-when-it-comes-to-other-people’s-emotions.

Grrrrr me.

 

Here’s the crazy part, I knew he was up to something.

I was playing the piano one afternoon and just spending time with him, when God shows me this picture of a giant eye.  It reminded me of the nebula in the photo above.  Not intimidating or scary, but I was very aware that my heart was being searched.

And since then, I haven’t heard God say anything about it.

But I’m pretty sure that this discovery of codependent tendencies is tied to that day.

 

God means what he says. What he says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey. Nothing and no one is impervious to God’s Word. We can’t get away from it—no matter what.

Hebrews 4:12-13 (The Message)

 

Okay seriously, I didn’t even know I had codependency issues until like 2 months ago.  And it’s not like I want to keep them or anything but man, I wish that God would snap his fingers and make it just go away.

Open a can of miracle, right here, right now.

Because I am one bewildered girl right now.  Lez just be honest.  I did not realize I was as messed up as he is showing me I am.

 

My friends and family, however, are not as shocked.

 

To make matters worse, this has not been a fast moving kind of revelation.  This is more like a slow as molasses revelation.  As in, every day I’m going to show you what is going on and how it is affecting you and the people you love.

 

Ouch.

This really sucks.

 

But I don’t want to stay this way.

I really do want to change.

 

Repentance at its core is being willing to go through the process of being changed.

 

Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.

Hebrews 4:14-16 (The Message)

 

Okay, Jesus, so healing is what you’re offering me in this season.

I’ll take that mercy.

I’ll accept that help.

 

Photo Credit: “Helix Nebula” by WikiImages, permissions through C.C. by 2.0