Anxiety much?

I’ve been feeling anxious lately.

It’s that obnoxious type of anxiety because I once had peace – a lot of it and it feels like I’ve misplaced it somehow.

Doctors have run tests and scans and I am perfectly healthy by all accounts.

But I could barely function.

Peace, joy, and a host of other good things were seeping out of my life and I couldn’t understand why.

I was being the mom my kids needed.

I was being the worship leader that my church wanted.

I was being the wife that supported my husband.

I was being the daughter I should be.

I was being the friend that was always available to listen.

I was doing all the things I thought God wanted me to do and be.

All of these roles serve people I love. And I am passionate about being all of those roles- mother, worship leader, wife, daughter, friend.

But all of me was hurting.

My body.

My mind.

My spirit.
Let me just say, not a single person asked me to be something I’m not.

 I did that all on my own.

I’m driven by nature and sadly sometimes still find my worth in what I can do rather than who I am.

Relate much?
Am I called to be all of those things.



Worship Leader.


So since last Fall, I’ve been muddling through what life should look like for me, because I don’t want to be that exhausted again.  Ever.
But thank God for good friends and strong coffee.
I have a friend, and musical mentor extraordinaire, tell me that she felt like God was telling her that I was taking on too much.

That was what God gave me as my starting place and like I said, the past 6 months have been a painfully slow learning process.

So what’s the secret of juggling the demands of life without losing ourselves in the process?

For me, it’s been learning about boundaries and rest.

Really practical, I know.

But sometimes the most practical words are the most spiritual and more importantly, the ones that God is speaking in the moment.

“Stress was hurting me physically and emotionally. But the Lord also began to show me that stress was hurting me spiritually. I was allowing the external pressures of life to affect my internal peace and joy. If I didn’t make some major changes, I was never going to fully enjoy the life Jesus died to give me.”
Joyce Meyer 

from her book “Overload”

I’m hoping to blog more on this- because it’s important.

It’s important to remember to have some fun in this life and that we are worth far more than what we produce. 



Photo Credit: Fotolia


I’m going to share something with you.  I’m going to tell you something that every successful person has to do, including you.


Believe it or not, every successful person in this world has jumped.


I’m going to tell you what I mean by that.


You eventually, you are going to have to jump.

You cannot just exist in this life.

You have got to try to live.


If you are waking up thinking that there has got to be more to life than it is, man, believe that it is. Believe in your heart of hearts that it is, but to get to that life, you are going to have to jump.


Now, I’ll tell you why I call it jumping.


See God, when He created all of us, He gave every last one of us a gift at birth. He never created a soul without endowing them with a gift.


You just got to quit looking at gifts as running, jumping, singing, dance.

It’s more than that.


It’s if you know how to network, if you can connect dots, if you draw, you teach – some of you all fry chicken better than anyone else – bake pie. Some of you cut hair, color hair. Some people do grass.


I’ve got a partner, man, never wanted to go out with us because we stayed out too late.

“Come on man, go out with us.”

“Nah, I got to get up early tomorrow. I’m cutting Ms. Johnson’s grass.”

We kept laughing at this dude.

Cutting grass, how much do they pay you?”


He’s got a landscaping company in Cleveland worth $4 million because all he do is cut grass, but he was gifted at it.


I got a partner who owns a detail shop who makes $800,000 a year detailing cars. He got six mobile trucks running around. $800,000 a year, and all he do is detail cars. That’s his gift. That’s what he loves to do.


You’ve got to identify that gift.


Now, listen to me.

When you see people in life, when you standing on the cliff of life, and you see people soaring by and you see people soaring – going to exotic places, you hear about them doing wonderful things, maybe you look up the street and your neighbor just gets a car every year or every two years, you know how is he doing that?


Have you ever thought, maybe this person right here has identified their gift and is living in their gift because your Bible says – this is your Bible – your gift will make room for you.

Your gift.

Not your education.

You can go and get an education, and that’s nice.

But if you don’t use your gift, that education is only going to take you so far.

I know a lot of people that got degrees, man, they ain’t even using.

It’s your gift.


But the only way for you to soar is you got to jump.

You got to take that gift that is packed away on your back. You got to jump off that cliff and pull that cord.

That gift opens up and provides the soar.


If you don’t ever use it, you’re going to just go to work.

And if you getting up going to work on the job every day that you hate going to, that ain’t living man.

You just existing.

At one point in time, you ought to see what living’s like.

But the only way to see what living’s like, you got to jump.


Now, here the problem.

Let me just be real with you.

When you first jump, let me tell you something, your parachute will not open right away.


I’m sorry.

I wish I could tell you that it did, but it don’t.

When you jump. It’s not going to open right away.


You going to hit them rocks.

You going to get some skin torn off on them cliffs.

You going to get all of your clothes torn off.

You going to get some cuts on you.

You going to be bleeding pretty bad, but eventually, eventually the parachute has to open.


That is a promise of God.


That ain’t a theory.

That’s a promise.


His promise is true because, listen to me, you cannot name one single thing God has not gotten you through.

Name it.


And if He ain’t got you through it, He currently pulling you through it right now.

And the living proof of it is, you sitting in here.

If he hadn’t of got you through it you wouldn’t even be here.


So, if He ain’t never not got you through it, why would He not let your parachute open?


It has to open, man. But … you got to jump though.


Now, here’s another thing.

You can play it safe and deal without the cuts and the tears and you can stand on that cliff of life forever safe, but if you don’t jump – I’ve got another promise I can make you – your parachute will never open.


You will never know.

You will never know what God really had for you.


You see, your God has a wonderful life for you.

Once again, I’m going to refer to your Bible.

Now, you go down there. You memorize these Scriptures. You don’t apply them to yourself.


Your Bible says that He comes to give you life, and give you life more abundantly.

If I were you, I would jump because that’s the only way to get to that abundant life. You got to jump, man.

You got to take a chance.


Now, when I get through talking, there are those of you that will discuss this in the car,

Well, I got bills, and I got bills.”

Whether you stay on the cliff or you jump, you are going to have bills.

Well, if I quit my job I’m going to ruin my credit.”

If you got a job, you living check to check. Even if you got A-1 credit, you can’t buy nothing else no damn way.

At one point in time, man, do yourself a favor.

Go see what God really do.

God hold you up, man.

He ain’t going to let you fall. He didn’t bring you this far to let you fall.


Do yourself a favor man, before you leave this world, before you die, jump.

Just jump one time.

Just jump.


Thank you very much.


*As much as I wish I could take credit for this, it is actually Steve Harvey’s inspirational talk, Jump.  Pretty inspiring, huh? Makes you want to go try something new.*

Transcribed by Michael Morris

Outside the Faction

Can I just say, I loved, like seriously loooooved, write it on a notebook like a highschooler, L-O-V-E-D the movie Divergent.

And come on, lets face it, I’d totally be Dauntless.

(Quick movie recap from the author, Veronica Roth: “In Beatrice Prior’s dystopian Chicago world, society is divided into five factions, each dedicated to the cultivation of a particular virtue—Candor (the honest), Abnegation (the selfless), Dauntless (the brave), Amity (the peaceful), and Erudite (the intelligent). On an appointed day of every year, all sixteen-year-olds must select the faction to which they will devote the rest of their lives. For Beatrice, the decision is between staying with her family and being who she really is—she can’t have both. So she makes a choice that surprises everyone, including herself.”)


I live a crazy life.

I’m 32 and I still drink my coffee full strength, even after 5 pm.

I’ve got 3 kids all under the age of 6.

And, I drive a mini-van without a spare tire in the back.


Need I say more, I’m Dauntless, baby.


Jason says, I’d be Candor because I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut.

He’s probably right but since I think I’m Dauntless, he’ll pay for it later.  Maybe he’ll have to jump off a train or something.

I do have a point tonight.

I think.

Oh yeah, it’s this.

Don’t forget to live.


Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.

I am emphatic about this. The moment any one of you submits to circumcision or any other rule-keeping system, at that same moment Christ’s hard-won gift of freedom is squandered. I repeat my warning: The person who accepts the ways of circumcision trades all the advantages of the free life in Christ for the obligations of the slave life of the law.

Galatians 5:1-3 (The Message)


Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck in a faction of Christianity.

I think we all do.

There are rules to keep.

Right ways to live.

Wrong things that shouldn’t be said.

Order that has to be kept.

And the truth is, it’s stifling.


Like choosing only one faction to live the rest of your life in.


But rules were never the point.

Jesus set us free so that we could live. . . free.


But the truth is, I don’t know how to live a life free.

I’ve been conditioned to follow rules.

We all have been.

And when God goes a little bit quiet in my life I tend to grasp for rules.

You know some sort of order.

I get sucked back into a Christian-faction mindset.

I suspect you would never intend this, but this is what happens. When you attempt to live by your own religious plans and projects, you are cut off from Christ, you fall out of grace. Meanwhile we expectantly wait for a satisfying relationship with the Spirit. For in Christ, neither our most conscientious religion nor disregard of religion amounts to anything. What matters is something far more interior: faith expressed in love.

Galatians 5:4-6 (The Message)

And so I guess it comes back to trusting him and living a life of love.

That’s how we do this freedom thing.

And that’s the thing that keeps us held together.